RICH KIDS Vs POOR KIDS

Speaking to high school and college students about exactly what they need to do to become financially successful in life I began my presentation by asking three questions:

“How many want to be financially successful in life?”

“How many think they will be financially successful in life?”

Every hand rises in the air. Then I asked a magic third question:

“How many have taken a course in school on how to be financially successful in life?”

Not one hand rises in the air, ever. Clearly every student wants to be successful and thinks they will be successful but none have been taught by their parents or their school system how to be financially successful in life. Not only are there no courses on basic financial success principles but there are no structured courses teaching basic financial literacy. We are raising our children to be financially illiterate and to fail in life. Is it any wonder that most people live paycheck to paycheck? That most people accumulate more debt than assets?  Is it any wonder that most parents cannot afford college for their children and that tuition fee debt is now the largest type of consumer debt?

What’s worse is what our children are being taught by their parents, the school system, politicians and the media. They are teaching our children that the wealthy are corrupt, greedy, have too much wealth and that this wealth needs to be redistributed. What kind of a message do you think that sends to the future generation? It is teaching them that seeking financial success by pursuing the “Big Dreams” is a bad thing. The Occupy Wall Street movement was a manifestation of this “wealth is bad and needs to be redistributed “mindset. .

Here are some statistics from my study on the daily habits that separate the wealthy from the poor?

1. 72% of the wealthy know their credit score vs. 5% of the poor
2. 80% of the wealthy are focused on at least one goal vs. 12% of the poor
3. 63% of the wealthy spend less than 1 hour per day on recreational Internet use vs. 26% of the poor
4. 83% of the wealthy attend/attended back to school night for their kids vs. 13% of the poor
5. 29% of the wealthy had one or more children who made the honor roll vs. 4% of the poor
6. 63% of wealthy listen to audio books during their commute vs. 5% of the poor
7. 67% of the wealthy watch 1 hour or less of T.V. per day vs 23% of the poor
8. 9% of the wealthy watch reality T.V. shows vs. 78% of the poor
9. 73% of the wealthy were taught the 80/20 rule vs. 5% of the poor (live off 80% save 20%)
10. 79% of the wealthy network 5 hours or more per month vs. 16% of the poor
11. 8% of the wealthy believe wealth comes from random good luck vs. 79% of the poor
12. 79% of the wealthy believe they are responsible for their financial condition vs. 18% of the poor

The fact is the poor are poor because they have too many Poverty Habits and too few Rich Habits. Poor parents teach their children the Poverty Habits and wealthy parents teach their children the Rich Habits. We don’t have a wealth gap; we have a parent gap. We don’t have income inequality, we have parent inequality.

Parents and our schools need to work together to instill good daily success habits as follows:

• Limit T.V., social media and cell phone use to its barest minimum per day.

• Require that children read one to two educational books a month.

• Require children to aerobically exercise 20 – 30 minutes a day.

• Limit junk food intake per day.

• Require that children set monthly, annual and 5-year goals.

• Require working age children to work or volunteer at least ten hours a week.

• Require that children save at least 25% of their earnings or gifts they receive.

• Teach children the importance of relationship building by requiring them to call friends, family, teachers, coaches etc. on their birthdays and to send thank you cards for gifts or help they received from anyone.

• Reassure children that mistakes are good not bad. Children need to understand that the very foundation of success in life is built on learning from our mistakes.

• Punish children when they lose their tempers so they understand the importance of controlling this very costly emotion.

• Teach children that seeking financial success in life is good and is a worthwhile goal. Children need to learn what the “Big Dream” is and that it is something to be pursued in life.

• Children need to learn how to manage money. Open up a checking account or savings account for children and force them to use their savings to buy the things they really need. They need to learn that they are not entitled to things like cell phones, computers, fashionable clothes, flat screen T.V.s etc.

• Require children to participate in at least two non-sports-related extracurricular activities at school or outside of school.

• Parents and children need to set aside at least an hour a day to talk to one another. Not on Facebook, or on the cell phone, but face to face. The only quality time is quantity time

• Teach children how to manage their time. They should be required to create daily “to do” lists and these lists need to be monitored by parents. The goal should be to accomplish at least 70% of their tasks on their daily “to do” list.

Wealthy people do certain things every single day that sets them apart from everyone else in life. Wealthy people have good daily success habits that they learned from their parents. These daily habits are the real reason for the wealth gap in our country and the real reason why the rich get richer. Unless we teach our children good daily success habits, and level the playing field, the rich will continue to get richer and the poor will continue to get poorer.

…….my thoughts

Little Lessons Of Life

I’ve learned …That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of
an elderly person.
I’ve learned …. That when you’re in love, it shows.
I’ve learned …. That just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my
day!’ Really makes my day.
I’ve learned …. That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of
the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I’ve learned …. That being kind is more important than being right.
I’ve learned …. That u should never say no to a gift from a child.
I’ve learned …. That I can always pray for someone when I don’t
have the strength to help him in some other ways.
I’ve learned …. That no matter how serious your life requires u to
be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I’ve learned …. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold
and a heart to love and understand.
I’ve learned …. That simple walks with my father around the block
at nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I’ve learned …. That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it
gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I’ve learned …. That we should be glad God doesn’t give us
everything we ask for.
I’ve learned …. That money doesn’t buy class or happiness.
I’ve learned …. That it’s those small daily happenings that make life
so spectacular and memorable.
I’ve learned …. That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who
wants to be appreciated and loved.
I’ve learned …. That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I’ve learned …. That when u plan to get even with someone, u are
only letting that person continue to hurt u.
I’ve learned …. That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I’ve learned …. That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is
to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I’ve learned …. That everyone u meet deserves to be greeted with a
smile..
I’ve learned …. That no one is perfect until u fall in love with them.
I’ve learned … That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
I’ve learned …. That opportunities are never lost; someone will take
the ones you miss.
I’ve learned …. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will
dock elsewhere.
I’ve learned …. That I always need to tell my Mom or Dad how much I
love them
I’ve learned …. That one should keep his words both soft and
tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I’ve learned ….. That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your
looks.
I’ve learned ….. That when your newly born grandchild holds your
little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
I’ve learned …. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain,
but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
I’ve learned …. That the less time I have to work with, the more
things I get done.
I’ve learned …. That my spouse is my closest and best companion in the journey of life
To all of u….love,care,hope,give and have faith always for a better
tomorrow.

…………….. my experience!

….my candid advice for WOMEN

1). Never raise your voice for any reason to your husband. Its a sign of disrespect.(Prov 15v1)

2). Don’t expose your husband’s weaknesses to your family and friends. You are each other’s keeper.(Eph 5v12)

3). Never use attitudes and moods to communicate to your husband, you never know how your husband will interpret them.(Prov 15v13)

4). Never compare your husband to other men, you’ve no idea what their life is all about.

5). Never ill treat your husband’s friends and relations because you don’t like them, the person who’s supposed to get rid of them is your husband.(Prov 11v22)

6). Never forget that your husband married you, not your maid or anyone else. (Gen 2v24)

7). Never assign anyone to give attention to your husband, people may do everything else but your husband is your own responsibility.(Eph 5v33)

8). Never blame your husband if he comes back home empty handed. Rather encourage him.(Deut 3v28)

9). Never be a wasting wife, your husband’s sweat is too precious to be wasted.

10). Never pretend to be sick for the purpose of denying your husband sex (SS 7v12)

11). Never compare your husband to your one time sex mate in bedroom.(SS 5v9)

12). Never answer for your husband in public opinion polls, let him handle what is directed to him although he may answer for you in public opinion polls.(Prov 31v23)

13). Never shout or challenge your husband in front of children, dependents and/or subordinates (Eph 4v31)

14). Don’t forget to check the smartness of your husband before he checks out.(Prov 12v4)

15). Never allow your friends to be too close to your husband.

16). Never be in a hurry in the bathroom and on the dressing table. Out there your husband is always surrounded by women who took their time on their looks.( 1 Sam 25v3)

17). Your parents or family or friends do not have the final say in your marriage. Don’t waste your time looking up to them for a final word.(Luke 21v16)

18). Never base your love on monetary things. Will you still submit to him even if you earn more money than him?

19). Don’t forget that husbands want attention and good listeners, never be too busy for him. (Gal 6v9)

20). If your idea worked better than his, never compare yourself to him. Its always teamwork. (Gal 6v10)

21). Don’t be too judgemental to your husband.(Eph 4v29)

22). A lazy wife is a careless wife. She doesn’t even know that her body needs a bath.(Prov 24v27)(Prov 20v13)

23). Does your husband like less cooked food?, try to change your cooking.(Prov 31v14)

24). Never be too demanding to your husband, enjoy every moment, resource as it comes.(Luke 11v3)

25). Make a glass of water the very first welcome to your husband and everyone entering your home. Sweetness of attitude is true beauty. (Prov 31v11)

26). Don’t associate with women who have a wrong mental attitude about marriage.(Prov 22v14)

27). Your marriage is as valuable to you as the value that you give it. Recklessness is unacceptable.(Heb 13v4)

28). Fruit of the womb is a blessing from the Lord, love your children and teach them well.(Prov 22v6)

29). You are never too old to influence your home. Never reduce your care for your family for any reason. (Prov 31v28)

30). A prayerful wife is a better equipped wife, pray always for your husband and family (1 Thess 5v17.

…………my candid advice for WOMEN

LETTER BY ABRAHAM LINCOLN TO HIS SON’S HEADMASTER.

He will have to learn, i know, that all men are not true. But teach him also that for every Scoundrel there is a hero, that for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader. 

1. Teach him that for every enemy there is a friend.

2. Teach him that a dollar earn is of more value than five found.

3. Teach him to learn lose and to enjoy winning. Steer him away from envy if you can.

4. Teach him the secret of quiet laughter.

5. Teach him the wonder of books. But also give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and flowers on a green hillside.

6. In school,teach him to know that it is more honorable to fail than to cheat.

7. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him they are wrong. Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with tough people.

8. Try to give him the strength on the bandwagon.

9. Teach him to listen to all men but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

10. Teach him how to laugh even when he is sad.

11. Teach him there is no shame in tears.

12. Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob and to stand and fight if he thinks he is right.

13. Treat him gently but do not cuddle him because only the test of fire makes fine steel.

14. Let him have the courage to be impatient and let him have the patience to be brave.

15. Teach him always to have sublime faith in his creator and faith in himself too, because then he will always have faith in mankind…

 

FACTS TO PONDER ABOUT CHILDREN…..

1. If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.

2. If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you’ve lost them.

3. If your child has poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.

4. If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.

5. If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want.

6. If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.

7. If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them.

8. If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour and you give little attention to good behaviour.

9. If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something and not when they improve at something even if they don’t successfully complete it.

10. If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.

11. If your child is openly defied, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.

12. If your child is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of proportion.

13. If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think it’s normal behaviour.

14. If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to make decisions.

15. If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right

Start at home

Success is a combination of ambition, drive, skills, dedication with a smattering of “luck” thrown in. Some of us are “luckier” than others and the luck seems to be fickle about when it will show up. So, since you can’t count on luck, you have to develop and foster the other skills to succeed in anything you do.

Becoming successful and remaining successful require that you develop exceptional skills, a drive to overachieve and a dedication or intensity in your performance. To develop and hone these skills, you should practice them all the time.

Start at home

If you want to be a success at work or in anything you do, you need to start at home and make changes to every aspect of your life. Your initial change should be to change your attitude and to start believing that you deserve success and will achieve it.

Take your new found confidence and start organizing your life so that you have sufficient time to dedicate yourself to becoming a success. If you are disorganized and somewhat lazy at home, you will have to change before you will achieve any results. Success and confidence are more of an attitude than anything else.

So, when you wake up this weekend, don’t leave your stained undershirt on and forget to shave. Don’t just lie around the house and watch sports all day. Approach the day as another opportunity for you to succeed in your endeavors. Jump in the shower, shave, and put on some decent clothes. Let the feeling of success permeate your life.

Dedicate yourself to achieving a successful home life and you are well on your way toward being successful in your job and in your life. By starting at home, you start with a more enthusiastic and cooperative audience who will help you achieve your success. You can then carry that successful attitude into a job, into an interview or anywhere else you may need.

All in all, you need to organize your life at home, change your attitude to one of success and bounty, carry this successful and bountiful attitude with you into every aspect of your life and then just sit back and reap the rewards. You will be amazed at the successes you will have.

 

Essential Skills in The Job Market

When you are looking for your first job or a new position or career, you need to market yourself by listing essential skills for which employers are looking. You can highlight these job skills in your resume or cover letter, but you want to make sure that the human resources or hiring managers don’t pass over you because you lack certain essential skills. Highlighting certain skills along with specialized training can help you to have a better chance of landing a position in a competitive job market.

Essential Job Skills: Computer Skills

To work in almost any setting, you need to have at least basic knowledge of how to use a computer. Having experience with word processing and spreadsheet programs can help you to have an even better chance of landing a job. Employers in certain environments, such as offices, expect you to have these types of essential skills because they help you to be better able to complete important tasks such as creating reports, putting together spreadsheets or drafting letters.

Most employers want you to be able to do basic tasks such as searching for information and writing emails. In some contexts, such as marketing jobs, being able to use social media is among the essential skills that you need to be able to succeed at your job and eventually go for a higher position.

On your resume, be specific about your experience. Listing your experience level with certain applications, such as Microsoft Word, Outlook or Excel, can let employers know whether you would be able to handle the tasks expected of you. If you go through a staffing agency, you may be asked to take a test to show your proficiency at using certain computer programs.

Essential Job Skills: Communication Skills

On your resume and during the interview process, you need to show employers that you know how to effectively communicate. In any position, you are going to have to use non-verbal and verbal forms of communication, computers and telephones to communicate with your superiors and coworkers.

You may be working with people who don’t speak the same language or who have limited computer abilities. Finding ways to convey messages to them can be important to completing important tasks on time. Knowing how to communicate effectively with others can ensure that you get work completed faster and develop stronger relationships with your coworkers and superiors.

Essential Job Skills: Problem Solving Skills

To be a good employee, you need to know how to solve problems as they come along. Among other essential skills, you want to be able to list problem solving or critical thinking skills on your resume. Employers often search for individuals who can learn multiple jobs. To be versatile in the workplace and handle issues as they come up, you need to have critical thinking skills.

Problem solving skills allow you to understand how to look at tasks asked of you and find more efficient ways to complete the jobs. You could potentially use your essential skills to save a company money and time. You can also bring new ideas and positive changes to your workplace or contribute an idea, produce or service to the company.

When you are looking for a job or trying to switch careers, you want to make sure that you have developed certain essential skills, such as a the ability to work with computers or communicate with others. You work on improving these essential skills through your interactions with other people, school classes, other jobs and practice. The more experience and skills you have, the better chance you have on landing a position in your field of choice.

2015 in Prospect…

The euphoria of the festive season came and went and I trust you had a nice time celebrating with your family and friends. Anyway, even if you didn’t, it is still a huge privilege to be alive in this new year, isn’t it?. As we all move through 2015, I would wish you can keep these characters alive. You sure will not regret the year ahead….

#1 – Your Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is simply the zeal, energy and passion for life. This is one of the propelling forces that gets you through life, otherwise you’ll end up in Kurma (zombie) mode loafing through life with no energy. No matter what comes your way this year trying to tamper with your joy and enthusiasm levels, regular time outs with God to clear your head will ensure that you don’t run out of the fuel you need to make it through the year.

#2 – Your Teachable Spirit

Whatever you do, stay teachable and open to correction throughout the year. This will propel people around you to help you with vital info you need to get to the next level and make you squeeze out useful point from seemingly ordinary day to day stuff. Make it a personal goal to get wisdom this year via books, online posts and loaded people around you and your life will take a better turn this year. When you’re not teachable, people who would have otherwise given you useful counsel will hold back and watch you perish out of a lack of knowledge and I bet you don’t want that, do you?

#3– Your Risk-Taking Attitude

Breakthroughs in life do not come to those who play it safe; they come to those who take calculated risks with faith. Disappointments of the past will definitely try to rob you of your risk-taking attitude but if you allow that to happen, then you can’t access the breakthroughs lined up in 2015. Learn from the failures of the past so you can seize better opportunities this year and win this year.

#4 – Your Focus, Faith and Peace

These three things will keep you rock steady no matter the winds of distraction and change that may blow through this year. We all start out the year with a desire of what direction we would like our lives to go in, things we may want to achieve etc. Focus will keep you on course and stop you from derailing so you don’t arrive at the end of 2015 full of regrets. Faith and peace will keep you stable inwards so that fear, anxiety, worry and doubt do not incapacitate you and render your 2015 useless.

#5 – Your Fellowship with God

Whatever happens, don’t lose your fellowship with God. He is like the control tower we need to give us step by step directions that will enable us navigate our lives successfully in this aeroplane called 2015. Do your part to stay in touch with him and he will do his part to guide you. Put him first and seek his counsel before each step you take this year, not after. It is dangerous to afford spending time with everybody and everything and not make out time for God. That’s a recipe for disaster, if you ask me.

Influencing Generations Yet Unborn…

Here is a list of things I personally think kids need to see us doing, as couples, in our marriages. What would you add to the list?

1. Pray

For me, this is the hardest. Religion might have been woven in my childhood somewhere, but I can barely recall praying families. Prayer was always addressed as something you did in your personal time with God. So praying together as a couple and as a family be a priority. Desiring our family to have a prayer time together, we started at the parlour with my Dad leading. Slowly, we the kids started praying around the table. Now, it’s not uncommon to see us praying over the smallest matters. Before big decisions are made by my parents, we knew it will be prayed about and that formed a pattern in us throughout life, even when it seems we know not what to pray about. If you want your kids to have a desire for God, they need to see a genuine desire for Him from you. And I can tell you first hand that it can do wonders for your marriage when you share such intimate times.

2. Make decisions

Children should see their parents consulting one another before making decisions, be they big or small. There is nothing wrong with a couple disagreeing on what the best decision for the family might be. The point for your children is not to see who wins. The point is to show them that even in times when you disagree, you can find a compromise. Allowing your children to see you making decisions TOGETHER will not only show them how to be a decision maker but a team player. Decision making should never be one sided.

3. Fight

Yes, it’s truly OK for your children to see you at a time where you just don’t like one another very much. But I do not mean physical confrontation or angry outbursts where you are directing profanity or insults toward your partner. THAT IS NEVER ACCEPTABLE. But your kids won’t be in therapy if they see mom and dad disagree either. In fact, fighting is a chance to let your kids see how to handle conflict respectfully and maturely. I heard of a lady that idolized her parent’s marriage. She never saw them fight or disagree. When she got married, she had distorted expectations of her spouse. It caused great tension and eventually led to a divorce.

4. Show affection

What is the greatest thing about fighting with your spouse? You get to make up! Number 3 and #4 go hand in hand but showing affections for your spouse is very important. You want your kids to understand that the desire for their significant other is vital and mutual. Don’t we all want our children to find someone that will love them and show them that they are loved?

I believe that children need to know that even after they are married, they still must pursue their spouse. I know a family where the children laugh and cover their eyes when they see their parents kiss, but there is a look of content on their faces too. They know their parents love each other because it shows not only in speech, but also in actions. Your kids might roll their eyes, tell you to get a room or utter somethings under their breath, but deep down you are providing a sense of security.

By letting your children see you in your day-to-day marriage, you are showing your children that your family is here to stay … through the good, the bad and the ugly.

Mama’s Little Girl – Ready for Marriage….?!

 

• My daughter, don’t cause a separation between your man and his siblings; it could be dangerous for you when they finally speak with one voice.

• My daughter, I know that some of you girls don’t wish to marry a man whose mother is still alive, don’t ever think like that, if you do, well, I think your son’s wife-to-be should start wishing you’re dead now.

• My daughter, listen to me, when I married your father, he was as tiny as his salary but I chose to grow with him and today, those cars out there are some of the results of what we started so little, together, and we’re proud looking at them.

• My daughter, there is this thing i see happening in your time, some of you girls now get pregnant before the wedding day, well, it never happened in our time because no matter what, we never opened our laps before the wedding.

• My daughter, well, yes, I once locked up the cloth of
your father because I got to my limit of patience and that was the only thing I could do, but one thing I haven’t said was that we settled the issue that same day and that was the last time I tried that.

• My daughter, look up there. That’s the wedding picture of your father and I, look at him smiling, I know you’ve seen it many times but what you did not know is that your father was angry before taking this picture, I hope you find a man whose anger doesn’t last till the next day.

• My daughter, when your Father was riding a bicycle,
I was always happy to hop on it and ride with him, not because I didn’t see those men in their little cars but because my eyes also saw those men trekking to
their farms.

• My daughter, if you and your husband eat a little food with love, you both would be satisfied. Times are not always the same; support him in every phase he’s passing through.

• My daughter, don’t ever close your laps to your husband in bed , the day he paid your dowry was the day you lost your will to do so, don’t be stiff and try to satisfy him even if you were angry with him.

• My daughter, a man would respect you and be more proud of you if you’re learned and not totally dependent on him. Strive to make your own money and while you’re at it, be humble.

• My daughter, under the cocoa tree that I did meet
with your Father was open and good enough for our discussions, yes; it was open and good enough if you understand what I mean.

• My daughter, in our time, we had sexy legs and firm bosoms to show our men , in fact, we had the finest ones, yet, when we dress, we cover those parts of our body, not because we were not civilized as you people would call it, but because we know that the eyes of men are hungry, many of them would only come, touch and go their way.

• My daughter, there is this thing you girls now practice, they say it’s feminism. Well, you can prove to be equal to a man in the society but please, not in your marriage because at my old age, I don’t want to start counting your husbands.

• My daughter, marriage is not a Rehabilitation Centre, if he’s not good enough for you before marriage, nothing he does would be good enough after marriage.

• My daughter, you can see I still wear my night gown , yes, because to my husband; your father, I still want to look sexy. So, take good care of your body, look good for your man and don’t look like a grandma after giving birth.

• My daughter, I’m your mother and still, I’m not interested in you coming to me always if anything goes wrong with your husband. Though nowadays I see some mothers controlling the homes of their sons and daughters, I would only say; shame on them!

• My daughter, for you to have a peaceful home and well trained children, have one voice with your husband, join him to say NO when he’s saying NO before the kids but later when you both are alone, you can plead with him for a YES, if not, the children will see a loophole to misbehave, either to you or their father.

• My daughter, if you chose to live together with a man that you’re yet to be married to , and you are complaining that he hasn’t proposed to you, oh, he already did. Whatever he said that made you start living with him was his proposal.

• My daughter, your generation does not see any pride in being a virgin before marriage, it’s a shame! Your father met me a virgin and he brought more yams to my parents and up till today, he’s still proud of me when we discuss in that direction.

• My daughter, I know that no man out there is complete, but when you are looking for your tall, slim, fair and handsome, if he’s a woman-beater, please, go for the short, fat, dark and ugly that will give you the respect you deserve as a woman.

• My daughter, know, learn and respect the culture and lifestyle of whoever you chose to marry . In some part of Africa, you kneel down to greet your man’s parents while in some part outside Africa; you can even call them by their first name and ask for a handshake. Whatever they believe in, if you’ve chosen him, believe it with him also.

• My daughter, don’t ever try to date a married man, whether his excuse was that he doesn’t find happiness with his wife or he would have married you if he had met you first, if you ever try it, I curse you already.

• My daughter, when I say over 52 years of marriage , it wasn’t that I did not see any reason to leave your father, I saw a lot of them but I bear his faults, i forgave him to stay married.

• My daughter, these are part of the wisdom i have gathered over the years. and If I had taken my time to tell you all these, and your marriage doesn’t last like that of your father and I, then I had wished i never gave birth to you.